


baby there ain't no sword in our lake

by Babydoll Ria (Babydoll_Ria)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:17:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2431874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babydoll_Ria/pseuds/Babydoll%20Ria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He kills her with three words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	baby there ain't no sword in our lake

**Author's Note:**

> I was prepared to love you  
> And never expect anything of you  
> There's no patron saint of silent restraint
> 
> - _Weights & Measures_, Dry The River Leaves

She’s never had a heart attack before, nothing at all to compare this feeling like she’s been electrocuted, making her spine straighten and her muscle tense and ache.

She hears the words he says, the way he looks eyes wide and like he’s been given a second vision tearing into her like she’s freshly washed glass in the sunlight, incapable of hiding anything.  She understands what he says, because it’s said so clearly, so simply, and she knows.

She’s always known. Well not always, there was a time before-she can remember it but it’s so far back in the reeds of her memory that she likes to pretend it never existed, that she wasn’t a person before she became a weapon because it’s easier to be a weapon than a person because a weapon has no feelings, no emotions, they cannot breach protocol because there is nothing more to them but protocol.

So she tried, she tried so hard to build a dam made of steel, of iron, of flesh and blood, pronged wire at the top that cuts her deep when emotions slip out. Emotions are dangerous, they get you killed.

That’s why he is so dangerous, why Grandfather was so concerned and never wanted her to guard him; he had seen the children they were and he could predict the adults they would be. No soul is really all that malleable once it cools; like steel it is hot and fresh from the fires and hammered out in the shape it is meant to be.  She was shaped a weapon, and he an emperor.

They are dented; she can never be moulded into anything but a weapon.

And he makes her feel human.

He makes her feel.

And she’s never wanted to feel less, not even when she was holding herself upright in a sewer in a foreign country.

He’s waiting, her mask set aside on the wooden table with  half crescent stains from rims from bottles and scorched wood from when cigarettes burnt the table, she’s naked metaphorically, human without her mask when she wants to be a weapon.

She wishes her whole body was metal not just her arm. If she was a weapon, truly just a tool, than she would not have this…she cannot call this a problem, because it makes it sound unwanted, unreturned, unrequited.

It’s not.

It’s not and that’s why she wishes she was metal, cold unfeeling steel with the edge razor sharp unable to feel, only able to hurt when she’s wielded.  Not when she stands only footsteps away from the man she has pledged her life to, and he tells her in no uncertain terms he loves her.

He waits, his chest rising and falling in the seconds that solidify like iron between them, building a wall as she cannot speak.

She cannot tell him she loves him, and she cannot tell him she does not love him because that would be a lie.

She wants to chew off her tongue because she does not want to speak.

She is weapon, he is the emperor.

They were forged long ago, set in their moulds and unlike steel she cannot be reforged into his lover and it kills her what he is asking her.

**Author's Note:**

> [Hi](http://seevikifangirl.tumblr.com)


End file.
